Part of You
by drdavidfan
Summary: After an accident leaves a man fighting for life, a woman is determined to save it come heaven or hell.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Thank you Erica for giving me a ride. I could have called a cab though." David told her not happy she was driving him around in this weather.

"It's the least I could do for you, you know. You come all the way out here and meet me when I call." She replied.

"I would do anything for you Erica, including driving 15 miles out of town so that your husband doesn't know you are having sex with me." He teased knowing she hated talking about their affair out loud.

"Would you stop talking like that?" She said, his all too casual attitude annoying her.

"Like what? Like your husband is so bad in bed that you call me up and tell me to meet you out of town three nights a week to satisfy you. Like that?" He said loving the fact that she was embarrassed at his words, even though they were the only two there.

Taking her hand off the wheel for a second, she hit him in the chest. "You are such a jerk. I don't know why I even bother with you."

"You didn't have a problem with me an hour ago when you were screaming my name." He spat, knowing it would be his final shot at her if he didn't want to walk home.

"I can't believe I ever loved you." She let out in a stuttering, frustrating breath before she was able to process what she was saying.

"You what?" He asked, thinking he hadn't heard her correctly.

"Nothing. It was a slip of the tongue." She brushed him off hoping he hadn't really heard her.

"I could have sworn you put love and me in the same sentence." He half asked still not sure if that is what she said.

"Well I didn't so if we could just have a quiet rest of the ride that would be nice." She said trying to change the subject and concentrate on getting rid of him and getting home.

"Fine. I guess I'll just enjoy the ride home then, quietly." He mocked, looking out his window.

She wasn't going to say anything further. She didn't want to hear his arrogant voice mocking her slip of the tongue because that's what it was, a slip of the tongue. She was in love with Jackson Montgomery, her husband. She didn't really consider what she and David were doing as cheating per se. She couldn't get what she needed in bed so she sought out someone who could. _I did say loved, as in past tense. That was before I married Jack. That was when I thought I was in love with him, that we were in love. _It was years later and they'd both moved on. Even if he didn't she did.

David was going to ask her what she saw in Jack, he wanted to know why she was with him when she had to cheat on him to feel whole. He didn't even get out his first word when he saw the headlights. He hadn't even got to warn her that they were on a collision course with another vehicle before they collided. She was thinking about her reasoning for what she was doing and had tuned out long enough to not notice the lights in her face. There wasn't even any time for her to react, to swerve before they hit each other.

Another car had hit them head on. Their car spun a few times and came to a stop, passenger side against a tree. David regained consciousness first, vaguely remembering they had most likely hit another car. He looked over at Erica immediately checking to make sure she was there, that she was okay.

"Erica" He called trying to see if she was responsive. He could see her stirring a little as she regained consciousness. "Erica, can you hear me?" He called again, not able to move to her, his own body pinned by the car.

"David" She responded weakly.

"I'm right here Erica. Do you know what happened?" He asked trying to find out her level of alertness.

"There was a car" she said, finally regaining full consciousness.

"Are you in any pain?" He asked, continuing his patient assessment.

There was a knock on the car door that startled them both. It was a young man. Probably the driver of the other car he thought.

"Are you guys okay?" The man asked, "I called 911, they should be here soon."

"I think we are both okay here. Are you sure you're okay? No pain in your neck or head?" David responded, concerned for the welfare of the other driver.

Erica was moving to take her seatbelt off when she noticed his blue shirt was covered in red blood. "David you're bleeding."

"It's probably just some cuts from the glass." He thought looking down at his shirt to see what she was talking about. He saw the nearly 10 inch diameter of the growing bloodstain and the metal sticking from his abdomen that was responsible.

She also noticed the metal that he was impaled on and it scared her. She hadn't ever seen so much blood, not since Chris Stamp was shot. She looked up at David's face, thinking his facial expression would give away how serious it really was. She could tell it was serious. His face was almost completely white which she knew meant he had lost a lot of blood.

_What the hell? I should be in pain, lots of pain. But I'm not. It must be the adrenaline. If I don't stop bleeding soon, I am going die and I can't do that to her, not to Erica. Stay awake_. He thought to himself. He knew what he was up against and he was thankful that kid had called 911 already. _ I just hope they get here in the next few minutes or Erica is going to watch me bleed to death._

She could tell he was thinking about it, going over in his head what this meant for him. She could see his eyes fluttering as he fought to stay conscious. She needed him to stay awake, stay alive. Seeing him like this brought back memories of their accident, that blizzard in `99. He remembered him talking to her, telling her to stay with him and she fought to stay alive. She needed him to do what she did, to fight. "David, David stay with me. You can't do this to me, you can't die on me!" She pleaded, no demanded to him.

He could hear her yelling at him, telling him to fight but he couldn't stay awake any longer. Everything faded to black and he heard nothing else.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The fire department and paramedics arrived not more than a minute after she saw him pass out. She was thankful someone was here to help, they would help. He wasn't going to die, he couldn't leave her, not yet. The young man had ran over to the medics and told them what had happened. He saw that man in the car was bleeding and he just passed out. They followed him over to the car with their equipment and attended to Erica first. She was easily accessible. It was David's door that was pinned against the tree that stopped them. She was angry at them, stopping to help her when he lay there bleeding.

"I'm fine." She told them. "You need to help him. He's bleeding and he just passed out. There is something metal sticking into him stomach, please don't let him die." She pleaded as they approached his side and some crawling in through the back seat.

"We'll take care of him miss. But first we need to make sure you are okay too." Said the paramedic that was examining her. While she was checked over and helped out of the car once they determined that she had no spinal injuries, she could barely see him, see what they were doing to him. 

They had cut the metal about 4 inches from him and applied bandages to stabilize the metal that was still in him. It would have to be removed in the operating room or he would surely bleed out. The metal that he had been impaled with was actually some of the busted frame bars that were inside of the door. When the door made contact with the tree it smashed the bars and forced them to fold in and into him as he hit the door. After removing her from the car and separating him from the door they stabilized c-spine and loaded him onto a backboard. They had started him on IV's and had him on a monitor, while riding lights and sirens to PVH. The medics had tried to get her to go to the hospital in the first ambulance but she demanded that she ride with him. She said that she would refuse treatment and transport if she wasn't allowed to wait and go with him.

When she saw them rushing into the waiting ambulance with him strapped to a board she knew that it was bad. They fastened the straps that held him to the gurney and took off in a hurry, hearing something about hypovolemia. She watched them work on him during what seemed like the longest 4 minute trip to PVH ever. She noticed that his arm had fallen off the side, hanging there. She took his hand in hers, hoping that she could give him the strength to fight, to hold on long enough that the doctors could fix him.

When they arrived at the ER, they took him out of the ambulance and rushed him in. A nurse had come to get her with a wheelchair and set her up in an exam room. Every time she saw a nurse or orderly come in she'd asked if they knew anything about David and his condition. They all gave her the same answer, 'I don't know'. As she sat there alone she had noticed blood on her pants, figuring that it was probably Davids', maybe from her cuts. Finally she saw a doctor come in, not at first noticing it was Joe.

"Erica. I saw your name on the chart and thought that maybe someone had made a mistake." Joe said, now believing what was true.

"Did you see David? How is he?" She asked hoping he knew something. After all he was chief of staff.

"I was here when the paramedics brought him in but Jake and other doctors are working on him. I am going to tell you right now that it doesn't look good. Those kind of injuries can prove fatal." He told her, a grim look on his face. He hadn't cared much for the guy but to know that he could very well be bleeding out in a room down the hall was rough.

"Joe, this is all my fault. I was driving the car and if he dies it's on me." She cried, tears falling freely.

"It was an accident Erica, it wasn't your fault. Besides he has some of the best doctors working on him. He is one arrogant and stubborn SOB and I doubt he'll give us Martin's the satisfaction of dying on our watch." He said trying to give her some hope that he might make it. "Why don't we check you out? Make sure you aren't seriously injured okay?" He asked trying to distract her a little.

She told him she was fine, that her head hurt a little where some of the glass had cut her. A further physical exam showed a bruising pattern across her abdomen, most likely from her seatbelt. She had some abdominal pain but she figured it was from the seatbelt. "I am going to order an abdominal CT scan to make sure you don't have any internal injuries and order a few blood tests and a urine test to check for blood." He told her and the nurse that was accompanying him.

"Whatever you want Joe, could you just go find out how David is doing and let me know. Please?" She pleaded with him. She had to know how he was, make sure he was still alive, that he was going to make it.

After her CT, Joe had come back into the room with her test results and some woman in a lab coat she hadn't seen before.

"How is he?" Were the first words from her mouth.

"He is in emergency surgery right now. They are trying to remove the metal, repair the damage and stop the bleeding. I won't know anything else for an hour or two." He explained hoping that was enough to keep her at bay. "Dr. Johnson here is going to go over your test results with you and I will be back later to check on you." He told her, knowing he didn't want to be in here when Dr. Johnson was telling her what she had to tell her.

"Ms. Kane I have here your test results. The CT didn't show any signs of internal injuries or internal bleeding but with the abdominal pain and the blood tests they indicate that you have most likely suffered a spontaneous miscarriage. We'll have to do an ultrasound to confirm it." The words flowing from the doctors mouth as she only heard that one word.

"Miscarriage? That means that I had to have been pregnant."

"Yes, you didn't know? You were probably 10 weeks along." The doctor asked.

"No, I had no idea." She spoke still in shock of her words.

"I'm sorry. I believe your husband is waiting outside. Did you want me to tell him or did you want to?" The doctor asked

"Um, could you tell him? I haven't even processed this. I don't know if I could be the one to tell him." She asked and the doctor had walked out the door. She sat there thinking. the last couple of hours over in her head. She had remembered the doctor saying that she was 10 weeks. She and David had only been together less than four weeks. That had meant that the baby was Jack's and not David's. It wasn't right to say that she was happy she lost her and Jack's baby but she wasn't sure that she would be able to handle it if it was her and David's child. If she had lost David and his child from an accident she was driving in should would never forgive herself.

She looked up to see Jack walking in the room. He walked over to her bed and sat on it next to her. "I am so sorry honey." He said letting her fall against his chest and putting his arms around her.

"I'm sorry Jack. I killed our baby." She said tears falling down her cheeks.

"It's not your fault Erica." He tried telling her but she wasn't listening.

"Yes it is. I was driving. I killed our baby and I probably killed David."

He took her face in his hands and looked her in the eyes. "It wasn't your fault. The other driver fell asleep at the wheel. He crossed into your lane and hit you. He gave a statement to the police and there are tire tracks that prove that's what happened. And as far as David, I don't know why he was with you but I hope that he doesn't die."

"Don't lie to me Jack. I know you hate the man so don't pretend like you wouldn't mind if he did die." She spat out at him, knowing his immense hate for David.

"While I may not like the man, I don't want him to die. I know that you would never get over his death knowing that you were driving the car and you shouldn't have to."

"If you mean what you say, can you do me a favor and see if you can find out something on his condition?" She asked needing him to prove he didn't have his fingers crossed or something like that.

"I'll be right back. You need to rest and take care of yourself. I love you." He told her kissing her forehead and leaving the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Dr. Johnson had come back in about a half hour later to finish up with the tests and confirmed her earlier diagnosis. She had admitted Erica to the hospital for intravenous fluids and some medications to help speed up her recovery. Erica wasn't too happy with her impending stay at PVH but more importantly Jack hadn't come back with an update yet. She had to know what was going on and the longer she went without any information the more she worried.

After the doctor had left, Joe came walking in. "Jack is making some phone calls and talking with the police over the accident. He told me to tell you that he asked about David. He said that you would believe it from me."

She smiled at that but quickly thinking about what she had been thinking about for the last couple hours. "What's going on with David? Is there any news?" She asked, hoping that he has good news, any news.

"It seems that he made it through the surgery and they stopped the bleeding. They were finishing up the surgery a few minutes ago so he is probably in recovery by now." He told her knowing what her next words would be.

"When can I see him?" She asked, ready to jump out of bed and find him her self.

"I don't know that you will be able to see him for a while yet. He probably won't even regain consciousness for another fifteen or twenty minutes." He explained.

"I have to see him Joe. I have to tell him how sorry I am." She pleaded, tearing up happy that he was still alive but afraid that he could die before she got to see him.

"Erica, give it some time. He just got out of surgery and you, you just went through your own ordeal. You need rest." He recommended knowing that she wasn't going to give up.

"If you won't help me Joe, I'll find someone who will." She said making her way out of bed waiting for him to give in.

"Fine, I'll take you up there but you will wait in the hall if his doctor tells you to wait."

"Yes Joe. Thank you."

She had finally made it up to the fifth floor. Joe had made her take a wheelchair up to see him but she didn't care because she had to see him. Joe had talked to the doctor that was making rounds in the Surgical ICU and told him that she could sit with him for now. He hadn't woken up yet but he should be any minute. Joe had come back out and wheeled her in to the right of his bed and then he left.

He looked better than the last time she saw him, almost peaceful. He was hooked to a few different machines, IV's, blood and he had an oxygen mask on. She moved a little closer and picked up his hand, resting it in hers. His hand moved in hers and she looked up at his face to see if he was waking up. His eyes fluttered some before they opened. He looked around a little bit, taking in his surroundings. She was so grateful to see those browns eyes of his again. She thought she might never see them again. He reached up and tried pulling off his oxygen mask so that he could talk to her. She put her hand on his stopping it. "Don't try to talk David. You are in the hospital, there was an accident. Do you want me to get the doctor?" She asked trying to help him get oriented to the situation but not wanting him to hurt himself.

He nodded his head a little indicating to her that his answer was a yes. She located the nearest nurse and the nurse found the attending doctor while David was busy looking at the monitors and IV's that he was hooked to, trying to get a feel for what exactly was going on. The doctor finally made his way over to him and Erica first checking the monitors himself and writing the numbers on the chart.

"Dr. Hayward, I am Dr. Grey. You are in the SICU at Pine Valley Hospital. Do you remember anything that happened?" The man asked and David shook his head no. "There was a car accident and some of the metal from the car's frame impaled your abdominal cavity. You went into hypovolemic shock and you passed out. Do you want me to continue?" The doctor asked wanting to know if he needed time to process the events.

David nodded a yes. He could vaguely remember him and Erica in the car and now he was here, in this hospital bed seemingly recovering from surgery and Erica was on an IV and in a hospital gown. _What the hell had happened?_

"Dr. Yang preformed emergency surgery to remove the metal when you were brought in to the ER. When he removed the pieces of metal, most of the right side of the liver was shredded and he had to perform a partial hepatectomy. The surgery took a little over 4 hours but everything went well."

She saw his face when the doctor had said hepatectomy. He rolled his eyes as if that wasn't the best news to hear. She gripped his hand a little tighter, letting him know that she was there for him.

"I know you will probably want to talk to Dr. Yang about the surgery. I'll let him know you are awake and he will probably stop by in a few hours to talk with you." The doctor finished, leaving David and checking on another patient across the room.

After getting information on his own condition, he remembered that Erica was next to him and that he hadn't even known what happened to her, if she was okay. He pulled off his oxygen mask this time and her hand trying to stop his didn't stop him.

"Are you ok?" He pushed out with a rough tone.

"I'm fine. You're the one who just got out of emergency surgery." She said with a half smile. He had almost died and had pieces of metal removed from him, yet he was worried about her. It was so him and she loved that about him.

"Well you are in a hospital gown and IV. That means you aren't fine." He told her coughing a little, his throat irritated from the breathing tube he had during surgery.

She had to think of something to tell him. He was a doctor after all, he would know she was lying. She couldn't tell him the truth, at least not yet he just woke up and wasn't in any shape to hear the news. "Um, they said I lost a bit of blood from my cuts and they wanted me on one." She said with a straight face. "I'm fine. I swear. I am going to go now, you need your rest. I just needed to see you."

"Thank you." He said as she motioned to the nurse that she was ready to leave.

"For what?" She asked confused.

"For being here when I woke up. And for being okay." He smiled at her, happy that she had been there. There was no one else that would be there for him, no family members. She was the closest thing he had to family and we glad it was him in this bed and not her. She didn't deserve to be like this, but he did. He had done so many things in the past, hurt so many people. He believed that this was karma and that he was mad at himself for having gotten her involved.

The nurse wheeled her out into the hallway where Jack was standing.

"How is he?" Jack asked

"He's alive. The doctor explained some of what happened but it was all in doctor speak so I didn't get much of what he said. He didn't remember any of the accident and he didn't seem too happy when the doctor told him about the surgery. He needs some rest though, so I left. Can you take me to my room?" She asked hoping she didn't talk too much about him to Jack, after all talking to your ex-fiancé to your husband isn't the best idea even if he almost died.

"Yeah, sure. You need your own rest anyway." Jack pointed out, wheeling her down the hall.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It had been a few days since the accident. David was moved from the SICU to the ICU the day after, when it seemed he was no longer at risk for complications from the surgery. Erica had been discharged from the hospital the next morning and had been back every day to see him. He had asked Erica if she would be his power of attorney, if she would make any decisions that needed to be done in case something else went wrong. He didn't have any one else to fit that role. No wife, no children and no friends. _How pathetic_? He thought.

He realized he hated being a patient. Being the one to cut people open and tell them what was going on was so much easier than laying there waiting for that person to come tell them. Dr. Yang had come in to see him today. It wasn't good news. His latest liver function tests came back and the part of the liver that was left had never returned to normal functionality. If his liver didn't start to regenerate itself, he was going to go have acute liver failure and need a transplant.

Dr. Yang had already placed his name on the United Network for Organ Sharing list or UNOS list in case it would become a necessity to need a new liver. It didn't help that he had one of the rarest blood types in the U.S. If there were a match in Pine Valley it would be luck. He thought about it for a little while, in his head there were thoughts of lying in here for the next couple days, just waiting to decompensate so much so that he would die waiting for a transplant. It wasn't like he needed a heart transplant where someone else needed to die for him to live. Anyone could donate, only a portion would be needed. It was finding a person with AB+ blood that was the problem.

Erica would be in to see him in the next hour or so. He wasn't planning on telling her about this, at least not yet. He wasn't going to have her worry about him when there wasn't even proof he needed a transplant yet.

He saw her walk in, earlier than he thought. He wasn't quite sure what he'd say if she asked how he was, when he was getting out of here.

"Hey" She greeted him, looking quite happy.

"Hi" He returned trying to be equally as enthusiastic.

"Are you feeling any better today?" She asked

"A little. I am on less pain medication so I am a little more clear headed."

"That's good. Have you had any updates today?"

"Yeah, Dr. Yang was in to go over some of my test results and everything seemed good." He said lying to her face.

She started to notice his color. It was different today. She hadn't noticed it when she walked in but then she wasn't this close to him. "Why do your skin and eyes look yellow?" She asked hoping it was nothing but he was a doctor he should know.

He hadn't even noticed it, he thought, looking at his arms or any skin he could look at. _Shit_. This was one of the worst signs he could have. He was jaundiced, a sign that his liver function was poor, almost non-existent. But he lied. "It's just a side effect of the medications I am on."

"I don't think that's it. I heard of this before and I don't think it was medication. Maybe I should go get a doctor?" She half asked half told him getting up from her chair.

"Erica its not necessary. I'm fine." He said trying to dissuade her from getting a doctor who would surely know what he knew.

She didn't listen to him. There was something he wasn't telling her. She found the nearest doctor and had mentioned this to them. They came over in a hurry with a nurse, grabbing his chart and speaking doctor speak.

"I need a CBC, lytes, LFT's and page Dr. Yang!" The man ordered, making notes in his chart. "Dr. Hayward, your status on the UNOS list is being upgraded. This onset of jaundice has determined that your liver isn't going to return to normal function and will only continue to develop into failure. Dr. Yang should be here in a few minutes to go over your options." The doctor told David.

Erica wasn't quite sure what was going on but the words "list" and "failure" made it sound as though this was serious. "What does this mean doctor?"

"It means that Dr. Hayward here is going to need a transplant and soon." He said walking away from them to make a phone call. Just when he thought he could get out of telling Erica this happens. He knew she would ask about what that doctor just said, knew she'd figure it out without his help. "David, transplant? What the hell is going on? You just told me you were doing fine and now this."

"It's looks as though my liver hasn't stated working properly since the accident and now I'm going to need a transplant." He conceded.

"You knew about this? Why didn't you say anything?" She asked not sure if she was angry or upset.

"I didn't want to scare you. I knew it was a possibility but I didn't want to tell you if it wasn't going to happen." He told her honestly

"You should have told me and now, now it's serious. Why don't you trust me?" She asked him growing more upset by the minute.

"It's not that I don't trust you. I didn't want you to worry about this when there was a chance it wouldn't even come to that."

"Well now it has and now I'm angry with you!"

"Angry with me? I was trying spare you." He tried reasoning, but she wouldn't have it.

"Well you withheld the truth. And then you don't come clean until you get busted." She told him angry with his behavior but ready to cry for him.

"Just like old times. I keep something from you, you find out and then you yell at me. Doesn't matter why I did it, I still get the ninth degree." He half laughed. This was the dance they do.

She hadn't thought of that. This is what happened with them the first time around. "We do this a lot don't we?" She half asked knowing they did.

"All the time." He half laughed, them both knowing it was the truth. He could see tears building in her eyes. She was trying to act strong, put on this façade while she was just as scared as he was.

"This is serious isn't it?" She asked knowing it was. He didn't have to tell her she could see it in his face.

"Yeah it is." He said not able to look her in the eyes for fear she'd see how scared he was, see his weakness.

"What can I do?" She asked needing him to give her something to do, to occupy her thoughts.

"Unless you plan on giving me your liver, there isn't much you can do." He half laughed, not the least bit serious.

"I will. I mean if I can, I'll give you my liver." She told him, as serious as ever.

He laughed not thinking she was serious. When he saw she wasn't laughing too he figured out she was serious. "You're not serious? You would need the same blood type which mine is pretty rare in the U.S. And even if you were a match, I don't think you would be considered a good candidate with your previous medical history."

"I am serious and even if I don't match at least it was worth a quick test."

"I'm touched that you offered Erica, really I am but you know that would leave a scar right?"

She wasn't enjoying his taking this lightly. "This isn't funny David. I am going to go talk with, what was his name? Yang?" She spat out, leaving him to find his doctor and get the information she wanted.

He felt bad that he acted like that, mocking her willingness to help him. He was such a jerk, she was right. Here she was, offering a part of herself to him if she could and he threw it in her face. He loved that she was there for him but every time she was he found a way to push her away. _Why do I do that? I find a way to drive her away and now I may never get the chance to be with her again._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

She had talked to Dr. Yang and he agreed to test her and see if she was a match. He explained things to her, about donation and transplantation.

It was only a few hours later that she met with the doctor again about the match results. It turned out that she was a match, a very good match. When she heard that she was ready to go ahead with the surgery. The only problem was the doctor had looked over her medical records. First he told her that she wasn't hemodynamically stable because of the miscarriage. The second was her past medical history, her heart problems. She tried to insist that she was fine but the doctor told her he wasn't changing his mind. He said they would have to rely on donors from the national registry.

While she left the doctor's office to talk to Joe about, the doctor went to check on David's condition. He seemed to be stable for the moment but the acute liver failure could progress faster at any moment. The liver biopsy he had a few hours ago confirmed the liver cell death and the acute liver failure diagnosis.

After checking in on David, Dr. Yang walked to the desk noting his findings to the other doctors who were in charge of the ICU. He also mentioned his conversation with Erica which happen to be within earshot of David.

"We actually found a match for Dr. Hayward. The only problem is the patients' health. She suffered a miscarriage in the accident and her blood counts aren't back to normal. It's really a shame. She is close to a perfect match. I just can't risk her health." He finished before he walked out of the ICU.

They hadn't even mentioned her name, but David knew who they were talking about. He wasn't sure what he should be feeling after hearing those words. Should he be upset for Erica that she lost a child? Could the child have been his and he didn't know? Should he be mad that she could have been the one who saved his life but can't? She hadn't said anything about it to him and the only reason he knew was from hospital gossip. He was tempted to call her. Tell her he needed to talk to her, now. She would be here any time in the next hour, why call her? Plus he needed time to think of what he would say to. Find the right words.

It was a little over a half hour until she came to see him. Joe hadn't been much help. She had to keep a strong face on. If he asked about her being tested, she wasn't a match. He couldn't know that she was a match and that her secret was the reason she couldn't save his life.

"Hi." She said, sitting down next to him and putting his hand in hers. She started talking to him as he sat there thinking. Should he come right out and ask or wait and see if she comes clean with him.

"So, did you talk with Dr. Yang?" He asked remembering her words when she walked out earlier.

"I did. You were right, I'm not a match. But at least I tried." She lied, keeping a straight face.

"That's too bad. I wish you could have been the one to save me." He told her, anger building.

"Me too. We'll find someone else, another liver." She said trying to keep things positive. "I have to get going. Jack is waiting for me. I'll be here tomorrow though." She said as she got up to leave.

"Yeah you don't want keep him waiting." He joked getting ready to just be blunt and ask what he can't hold back any longer.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She finished, starting to walk away.

"Was it mine?" He threw out loud enough for her to hear it. He watched her stop dead in her tracks.

"What did you say?" She asked, thinking of things she could say. He caught her in a lie, but how?

"Did you plan on telling me or were you going to keep your secret to yourself? I mean a couple more days, a week and you wouldn't even have to keep it any more." He threw out, trying to hold back the hurt in his voice.

"That's not fair David and you know it." She got angry. How dare he patronize her.

"You lied to me. You told me you were fine. Why didn't you tell me?" He trailed off losing anger and turning more into hurt.

She sat down in the chair, moving it as close to him as possible and taking his hand like she always does."It wasn't yours. I was ten weeks." She paused, waiting for a response but decided to continue. "I didn't tell you because I didn't think you needed any added stress considering."

"I know you thought not telling me was for the best but I am a grown man, a doctor. I could have handled it." He paused this time waiting for her to say something but she didn't. "I'm not mad at you Erica, for keeping it secret. I am just mad I found out the way I did. I'm sorry Erica. Sorry that you had to go through this. If I hadn't let you give me a ride, if I would have just taken that cab none of this would have happened. I wouldn't be here and you would be having a baby. It's all my fault, I'm sorry." He told her, upset and tearing up. He really put all the blame for this on himself and it wasn't even his fault.

"David it's not your fault. Don't even think it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Do you forgive me?" She pleaded, needing his forgiveness. It was only a few hours ago that she had words with him for doing the same, protecting her.

"There is nothing to forgive. Are you doing okay?" He asked. She had been so concerned for him these last couple days and he needed to know that she was doing okay.

"I won't be fine until you are out of this bed and walking out of this hospital. But to answer your question, I'm doing fine. Jack is helping me through this, all of this."

"I'm glad you have someone, even if that person is Jack." His words drawing a small smile from lips as he smiled at her.

"I'm happy you still have your sense of humor. I mean lying here, waiting to find a match it has to be hard on you." She wondered if he was trying to distract himself from his situation or if he had given up and was making light of his impending demise. Or maybe he was trying to keep her mind off of things, trying to be strong for her.

"Are you asking how I can be so happy when I am waiting to find out if I am going to live or die?" He asked bluntly, knowing it was exactly what she was saying. She was going to answer him tell him that she just wanted to know why he just had to poke at Jack when they could be having a more meaningful conversation. She couldn't get the words out because she had noticed something, something that wasn't good. His nose was bleeding.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

She had told the doctors what was going on but didn't tell David. She didn't want to scare him. She would wait for the doctors to decide how they should proceed. This bleeding was a sign that the liver was barely functioning and would soon be not functioning at all. The fact that his liver was close to failure meant that it wasn't producing the clotting factors needed to control normal blood platelets. This was creating internal bleeding as well as external bleeding. It meant that only a few more hours would pass before things went from bad to worse. The next sign of liver failure would be increased inter-cranial pressure causing disorientation and/or coma.

There was some good news though. They had found a liver in Michigan. They were just waiting for the consent for the donor organ and then it would be removed and transferred to PVH. It only took three hours for them to get word that the liver was in flight and would be arriving within the next two hours. The doctor came over to tell them they were taking him to pre-op in fifteen minutes.

Erica was going to make sure she said goodbye before they took him.

He could see the look on her face, that she was scared she wouldn't see him again. "Are you waiting to say goodbye until right before?" He said weakly.

"Not goodbye. It's see you later." She half joked, half convincing herself.

"I can see it on your face. You don't think I'll make it through the surgery."

"Don't talk like that. You are going to go in there and get that new liver and be back here bitching at the nurses in no time." She told him and herself. He laughed weakly knowing if he did get the new liver and was feeling better he would be.

Two nurses had come to wheel him to pre-op. She knew they were going to take him in the next minute or so. She kissed him on the forehead. "I'll see you in a couple of hours." She forced out, trying to hold back her tears. They started to wheel him away and she walked out with them. Jack had been standing in the hallway, waiting for her. She walked over to Jack and hugged him, crying into his chest. He didn't like David Hayward but it was obvious Erica cared a great deal about him. He wasn't going to be an ass and ignore that fact, so he just held her and let her know he was there for her.

After a few minutes of standing there he spoke, "You need anything?"

"Can you wait with me?" She asked, unsure what answer he would give. It wasn't a secret that Jack didn't like David.

"Of course I'll wait with you. I'm not going anywhere." He told her as they walked to a waiting room down the hall. They sat down in chairs, his arm around her.

"Thank you." She said lightly

"For what?" He asked confused

"I know you don't like David and here you are holding vigil with me over him. I would understand if you don't want to stay." She told him not sure what his answer would be.

"You're my wife and it's my job to support you and if that means sitting by your side and hoping with you that David Hayward makes it through surgery than that's what I'm going to do." He told her honestly.

"I love you." She said, giving him a quick kiss. She did love him and she always would but these last couple days reminded her that she also felt something for David. There was a reason she went to him to fill her needs and there is a reason she feels like she is losing a part of herself now. Was it love or was it just the way it is when you care about someone? She didn't know.

After an hour Jack suggested he go get some coffee. She said she would wait for him to get back. It wasn't more than a few minutes after he left that she saw a nurse come walking towards her. It had only been an hour, which scared her. _Something must be wrong_. _It's too soon, something's wrong_. Bad thoughts flooded through her head as the nurse approached her.

"Ms. Kane?"

"Yes?" She answered trying to hold back building emotion.

"I was told to let you know what is going on." The nurse stalled.

"Please, just tell me." She pleaded, needing to know now.

"There was a problem with surgery. The donor organ was contaminated and was unusable."

"What does that mean?" Confused at what was going to happen.

"The good thing was an incision wasn't made. The contamination was made aware to the doctors before the surgery started. Dr. Hayward was under anesthesia but is being moved back to the ICU now. You can see him in a few minutes but he might now be awake for up to a half hour. If you have any question's Dr. Yang will be in to speak with you." The nurse explained.

"Thank you." She said to the nurse who walked away.

Jack had seen the nurse walk away as he made his way back to her. "I saw you talking to the nurse. What's going on?" He asked

"There was a problem with the donor organ and the surgery didn't happen. He's going to be brought back down here and I am going to talk Dr. Yang and find out what the plan is."

"I didn't expect that was going to happen." He said surprised by this news. It wasn't good news but it wasn't the worst news. He didn't know what he would do if that nurse had told her that David hadn't made it through the surgery. Erica was hard enough to get to open up and she hadn't said much to him these last few days. If she were to be grieving for that man he wouldn't know how to help her.

"You can go home if you want, it's getting late. After I talk to the doctor and see David for a little bit I'll be home. There is no reason you should sit and wait here for me."

"I can wait." He told her.

"You don't have to." She insisted.

"I'm staying, end of discussion." He stated, sitting down in a chair to add to his statement.

"Ok. I'll be back then. If you change your mind just let one of the nurses know and they'll tell me." She told him, squeezing the hand in hers before she walked toward the ICU.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

She had walked back into the ICU. Sat down in the same chair she had taken residence for the past few days. He was still unconscious from the anesthesia but Dr. Yang was on his way over to where she was.

"What do we do now?" Were the words out of her mouth before the doctor even announced her presence.

"We just have to start over. David is at the top of the list for his blood type and tissue types and the first available liver that matches will be sent here." The doctor told her.

"So we just wait. Until we either get a liver or…or he dies?" She forced out the words not wanting to leave her lips.

"Unfortunately they are our only options. Can you have me paged when he wakes up so I can talk with him?" The doctor asked.

"I will, thank you." She acknowledged the doctor before she left her side.

She watched him lie there, asleep. He was still bleeding and that made her heart hurt. She couldn't stand the sight of blood, much less it coming out of his eyes, ears, and nose. Although he looked peaceful asleep, she wanted him to wake up, to talk to her. She needed to talk to him again. A few minutes ago she had thought she lost him, forever and now, she just needed to see his big brown eyes and hear his voice before she fell apart. She got her wish within seconds as she saw his eyes open. The only problem was he started talking. Words came out of his mouth that made no sense. He asked where his mother was, that he needed to talk to her. What frightened her the most was when he looked at her. He called her nurse and asked where trauma two was. He was obviously confused and she had remembered what the doctor told her earlier, that one of the last symptoms of liver failure was intercranial pressure and delirium and/or coma. This wasn't good and she knew it. She left his side for an instant to have one of the nurses page Dr. Yang like she had asked. All she could do was hope that a liver would be here sooner rather than later.

"David? David can you hear me? It's Erica."She asked hoping he would realize where he was or at least who she was.

"I don't have time for your crazy talk mother. I have patients to save." He spouted, looking as if he were in a haze.

"David, your mother isn't here. It's just me, Erica." He didn't even seem to hear her words. He just kept rambling on and on. Dr. Yang had gotten her page and was on her way into the room. She arrived to find Erica in a panicked state.

"I got your page Ms. Kane. Is everything alright?" The doctor asked tying to take in the situation.

"He woke up and started talking crazy. He keeps talking to his mother, but she's been dead for years."

"He's altered?" The doctor asked concerned, than she shined a penlight in David's eyes. "Dr. Hayward? David? Can you hear me?" David spoke a few more words, this time medical jargon that didn't go together. "I'm going to order a CAT scan but it looks like he's running out of time."

"So you're saying he's going to die soon without a transplant, but how soon is soon?"

"It might be a few hours or maybe a day or so. As soon as the rest of his body starts to shut down it would be a matter of hours." The doctor told her and she knew it was coming but it didn't hurt any less.

She was about to give up, admit to his loss, but she is Erica Kane and she doesn't give up without a fight. Then it hit her like a brick wall. She was the answer to this mess. Dr. Yang had told her she was a match just a few days ago. She could do this. She could save him. "You need to use me, my liver." She told the doctor with insistence.

"Ms. Kane, we already went over this. You aren't a viable candidate for the surgery. I wish I could say that you were and end this right now but…"

"But what? You're going to let him die because you don't want to take a risk?" She fired back.

"It's not like that Ms. Kane and you know that." The doctor defensively returned.

"If you don't do this, I'll find a doctor that will." She threatened.

"You won't find another doctor that would risk your life or his." Dr. Yang said with dismissal.

"We wanted you because you were the best at what you do but I'm sure I can find someone who wouldn't mind a little extra cash in their pocket. I'm going to save him with or without your help." She told the doctor as she turned to walk away.

"Ms. Kane, wait. If you agree to sign a waiver releasing the hospital and me of any wrongdoing and promise me that you'll make it through this surgery, I'll do it. Believe it or not, but I always have my patients best interest in mind. It's clear you love this man enough to risk your own, and I admire that. I'll tell the nurses to prep you and Dr. Hayward for surgery." Dr. Yang admitted before walking down to the nurses' station and presumably to the OR.

She couldn't help but smile at her words. She had won one not just for David but for her. She only had one more thing to do yet. She had to tell Jack. She walked out into the hall and found him in the chair she left him by, reading a newspaper.

"You ready to go home?" He asked as she neared.

"No. There's been a change of plans." She told him, hoping to ease into this. He wasn't going to be happy about it.

"What do you mean? Is everything okay with him?" He asked, not sure what was going on.

"Not yet, but it will be." She said, vague as can be.

"How? Tell me what's going on." He said growing impatient.

"I've decided I'm going to be David's donor." She threw out, waiting for his objection.

"You're not serious? I thought you could be a donor?"

"Dr. Yang agreed to it. It may be his only chance. I can't let him die, Jack."

"You can't do this Erica. What if something happens to you? Think about your family, me. We can't lose you."

"I am thinking about them, about you, but this is my fault and I can't stand around and watch him die when I can save him."

"Even I know that if something happened to you and David woke up and found out he would kill me for not stopping you. I won't let you do this. I'll get a court order if I have too."

"You can't stop me Jack. This is something I need to do. If not for him than for myself. If you can't understand that and you won't support me than leave. If you love me and understand that I need to do this than tell me you love me and wait here for me." She put it out there. Her ultimatum . If he walked away she wouldn't go after him. She had to do this and if Jack was half the man he said he was, he would realize that this was something she had always done. This is who she was. "I have to go." She told him.

He didn't give her any words in return. He was between anger and fear and he wasn't sure he could just go along with this. She wasn't going to wait any longer on him. "I love you." She told him, placing a kiss on her fingers and placed it on his lips and walked away.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The surgeries had taken well over 8 hours and it was sometime around early morning before they were being taken to recovery. Dr. Yang had laid down specific orders for the two of them to be placed next to each other in recovery. That way when either one of them woke up they would know the other was alive, or in David's case, know that Erica had been the one to save his life. There had been one complication in Erica's surgery. Her blood pressure had dropped significantly but it was easily corrected with medication. Other than that everything had gone smoothly and Dr. Yang was thankful for two successful operations. The only things left that could ruin it would be either infection in both patients or rejection from David's body.

Although David was the second out of surgery, the anesthesia lasted less time and he was the first to awake. First he heard the monitors beeping. They had been an all too familiar sound recently. Then his eyes opened to the sight of bright lights and the monitors he listened to. It was instinct to analyze the monitors he was hooked to when he first came back to consciousness. He happened to catch a glimpse of woman lying in the bed to his left. At first he didn't think much of it, not really noticing Erica's face because it was slightly pointed to the left. It didn't take long for him to realize that it was indeed her because he would know her anywhere. He felt sick. Something had happened to her and he didn't even know?

He had no idea what was going on and hit the call button he knew was by his right thumb. He must have hit it twenty, maybe thirty times before he realized it. He tried calling her name but nothing came out. His throat was raw from the tube down his throat during surgery. He lie there, helpless until someone came and told him why she was in that bed, and not just because she was resting. When the nurse finally arrived, he tried talking to her, asking what he had intended to ask but no words came out. The nurse knew why she couldn't hear him and moved her ear close to his mouth.

"What is wrong with Erica?" He whispered into her ear and looking over at Erica once again.

"Ms. Kane was your organ donor Dr. Hayward. She saved your life." The nurse said, smiling.

David wasn't at all amused at her joke. "That's not possible." He whispered back to her.

"I assure you Dr. Hayward she gave you that new liver you have. Don't worry everything went well. I'll let Dr. Yang know you are awake and she will explain everything." The nurse said assuredly, ready to leave.

He shouted "Wait!" to the nurse but it didn't sound at all like the word, the nurse stopping anyway. He had asked her if she could move the bed closer to Erica's, so that he could touch her, be sure that she was ok. The nurse did as he asked, and moved their beds side by side. After the nurse had left, David had put his hand on her wrist, taking her pulse and watching her monitor, assuring himself she was okay. Then he put his hand in hers, waiting for her to wake up, talk to him and then he could tell her how stupid and reckless she had been.

Dr. Yang had come to see him, check his incision and order more post-op testing. He also was forced to explain to David his prior situation and why he let Erica donate.

"You were sent to surgery for the liver from Michigan, but when it arrived we found out that it had somehow been contaminated. You had already been put under but we hadn't started the incision yet. So we sent you back to the ICU. Ms. Kane was with you when you woke up, but you had increased ICP and you were in an altered state. Your ICP level was 18, which we had considered the use of mannitol. That is when Ms. Kane insisted she be the donor." Dr. Yang explained.

"And you didn't see a problem with that? I thought you said you didn't consider her a viable candidate?" He asked, wondering what had changed the doctors' mind.

"I told her I didn't feel comfortable with it, but she threatened to find a doctor who she could pay off if I didn't agree and as your physician I couldn't risk another doctor to botch the surgery or having you transferred in your condition. So I agreed to her terms and now you are both here." Dr. Yang told him, embarrassed. The funny thing was, that David could picture the conversation that went down between Dr. Yang and Erica. It was something he knew she would do.

"And you can assure me that this surgery didn't compromise Erica's health?" David asked needing to know that nothing went wrong with her to save him.

"Except for the hypotensive episode in the OR, everything seems fine." Dr. Yang confirmed.

"Then I guess I should thank you for saving my life, whether I approve of the donor or not." He mused but also serious.

"You're welcome. The only thing left for us to do is to monitor you for rejection. I have another surgery in an hour. I'll be back after that to check on you." The doctor told him before he left.

All that time he spent talking with Dr. Yang and Erica hadn't waken up yet. His hand was still in hers, when he felt it move and he saw she was stirring. "Hey beautiful." He said when she opened her eyes and met his. She smiled, still not fully out of the fog. "I heard you saved my life." He added and she tried to answer. "Don't try to talk." He told her when she tried speaking and nothing came out. "You'll have all the time in the world to gloat later, but right now you're going to listen to me." She rolled her eyes at what she knew was coming, a lecture.

"What the hell were you thinking? Blackmailing Dr. Yang into doing the surgery? I know you're persistent and stubborn but risking your life like that was stupid. You could have died and if I woke up knowing you died to save me, I…I wouldn't have been able to live with myself." He confessed, displaying more emotion than he wanted. She was tearing at his words. She knew he cared, but when he showed he cared it hit her right in the heart. "I didn't think Jackson would let you do this. Apparently he is dumber than I thought." He said, changing topics.

"He didn't." She forced out. "He fought me. I told him it was something I needed to do. He couldn't except that I was going to do it, with or without his support." She continued. This was why he loved her, because she would fight for someone, fight until the end for the people she cared for.

"I would have done the same thing. No way would I let you risk your life for him." He told her, totally serious.

"I guess it's good for you that I didn't listen to him. If I did than you wouldn't have part of me keeping you alive."

"So I should be thanking Jack that he doesn't have any power over you? Thank you Jack!" He mocked with a grin.

"David." She said, sounding almost chastising.

"Erica, I want you to know something." He said, turning suddenly serious. "No matter what I say or do, I am grateful for what you did. It's not every day that you can or are able to save a life but today, that's exactly what you did. And I feel unworthy of having a part of you inside me, but I guess I'll just have to live with it. Thank you, Erica." He professed, trying to tough and not show what an emotional wreck he was inside. He was so close to dying and helplessly at that. He was usually the one that saved lives and this time he was the life that needed saving. Yet it hadn't really even been the doctor that saved his life, yes Dr. Yang performed the surgery, but it was Erica who laid it all on the line. He knew all along she wouldn't let him die if there was something she could do and that's one of the many reasons he loved her and always had since the first time they met.

She wasn't sure what to say. She knew it was hard for David to be so open, vulnerable, but she also knew that he was always different with her. That's why she had fought so hard for him, risked her life. They had something special. Something she might even consider to be love.

END


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